Starting this year off right brought me here. I have been trying for the past year to start a blog in order to join the blogging boom that I am found myself intrigued with for the last couple years. What has been holding me back? Well first it was time and the thought that nags at me, what do I have to say that people would have any interest in? I finally decided about six months ago that I was going to take the plunge even if I only post things that provide me with an account of my story as it is now. That seems completely inadequate to me when I think of the wonderful blogs that I read daily.
When I finally started to dive in I learned something about myself. When I do not get it right the first time I feel like I have failed. I am the worst kind of perfectionist because my perfectionism leads me to feeling like a failure if I make a mistake even if it is the first time I try. I found this out while trying to come up with a blog title. Everything is lacking. Nothing is right. These things lead me to this: don't try and you can't mess it up. Why do I do this? I think that it has to do with fear. The underlying fear that I am going to fail even if I try, I mean really really try.
It did not really click in me what I should do about this problem until just after the new year when I heard a radio talk show host saying that one of the most important things we can do is live without fear. I decided that my New Year's resolution is to try and embody that. Live Without Fear. So here I am and here I go.
Of course I am not really sitting here writing this without fear but I am doing it despite the fear.